what did you do today?
November 28, 2006 § 17 Comments
In a rare display of interest my daughter asked me what I did today. “Mama, what was your plan today? What did you do?”
In an unprecedented move for me, I followed the advice of others. I told the truth.
“I went to see the doctor about the lump in my breast and they are going to give me some very strong medicine to shrink it. That’s called chemotherapy. The medicine is so strong, that it might make me tired. It might make me nauseous and (pause and nervous laughter), it might make my hair fall out.”
“Oh Mama you can’t go to a party like that”
I met with my Oncologist today, Dr Come. A terrific, personable, seasoned cancer doc, with as many credentials as wrinkles. Just the kind of guy you want heading your team. Complete with a tweedy jacket, shoes well worn-in and a home phone number listed in the book on the off chance there’s a rough night ahead.
You know the landscape has changed when word that your chemotherapy will start on Monday is cause for celebration. Treatment begins and continues every other week for 16 weeks. Surgery is postponed til later and with enough poison, prayers and positive thinking I could actually shrink this baby to oblivion.
Here’s the good news, I am really ok with all this. The potential hair loss. The exhaustion. The nausea. Even the early and instant menopause. I am thrilled there’s a plan. I am thrilled it’s a plan that’s been around for a while with an awesome success rate. I am thrilled I have an A medical team. I am thrilled I can visualize springtime. I am thrilled my chemo coincides with cold months where anyone in his or her right mind would wear a hat. I am thrilled I am not going into surgery this week.
Mostly, I am thrilled for my beautiful and inquisitive daughter who seemed to get it.
When I am tired and bald and hanging over the toilet, I am sure she will remind me that it just means the strong medicine is working. Amen.