April 26, 2007 § 16 Comments
My driveway is ill defined. I am not exactly sure where it ends and where it meets the lawn. Is it soil or sidewalk beneath my feet? The hostas know, they are laying claim to the ground, emerging from the dirt. Dirt which is packed as hard as cement thanks to six cars rolling over it twice a day all winter long.
Still, splashes of green appeared almost overnight, everywhere. It surprises me, life emerging, so suddenly.
Take my head, transformed like a Chia Pet. Dark sprouts mixed in with some white sprouts and it’s all super soft. Better than silk bunnies. Still, it is too early to tell if it will be curly or straight. Chemo offers all sorts of surprises. Just in time too, the hats and wigs while cozy this past winter are stifling now.
Everything is a little stifling now. With estrogen at a minimum and a promise of new lows ahead thanks to estrogen blockers, my internal thermometer is terribly confused. At any given time I may have ice-cold hands or feet, while sweat puddles on my forehead. A slight breeze and I am chilled in search of polar fleece.
Every few hours, a new climatic zone in one single zip code.
Hot, cold, sweaty or chilled. I am in for surgery tomorrow. They’ll pull the tumor and nodes from me like weeds and hope nothing grows back.
Do you have a garden? It requires steady tending. That’s my cancer now. Less a crisis, more a chronic condition requiring constant attention. Post surgery radiation everyday for 8 weeks, meds for 5 years, exams annually, and a very good reason to exercise and eat well every single day even though none of the “serious” medical doctors will discuss nutrition or exercise.
It seem this cancer is mine to manage.
Next stop Shapiro building third floor 8am. I’ll be home for dinner. I hope it’s a nice weekend.