ruff ruff rough

September 20, 2011 § 13 Comments

Life as a newlywed this past year has been grand, from the honeymoon in Italy to our family trip to China. Closer to home, it was a summer by the sea with friends, and our new puppy, Zeke.

If you didn’t know better you might have envied all the international travel and naps near the shore. But routine chemotherapy meant that the only one who wanted to get into my shoes was my 11 year old daughter – and she was after the heels. Everything looks so great on her lanky limbs and elongated torso. I should keep the yoga pants and give her the rest.

Life with cancer isn’t all bad. I rather enjoy the impending sense of doom the diagnosis brings. Like our new dog Zeke who barks at trashcans and stuffed animals, the call to live boldly summons my inner bark.

Ruff, I’ll do whatever I want.

Yip yip, you can’t catch me.

Yip, I eat shit and I’m cute.

Woof, the world is my playground.

Grrr, leave me alone, I’m taking a nap on the chaise.

My initial diagnosis came with a flurry of attention. A few years later, support loomed large when I was diagnosed with a recurrence and the onset of advanced disease. But, it’s impossible to maintain vigilance over so many months, let alone years. What was once life altering just became life itself.

The infusions are routine. The doctor and nurses are my new old friends. We share milestones and more mundane details between vital signs and the search for a vein.

Everyday ordinary, ruff ruff rough.


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