ruff ruff rough

September 20, 2011 § 13 Comments

Life as a newlywed this past year has been grand, from the honeymoon in Italy to our family trip to China. Closer to home, it was a summer by the sea with friends, and our new puppy, Zeke.

If you didn’t know better you might have envied all the international travel and naps near the shore. But routine chemotherapy meant that the only one who wanted to get into my shoes was my 11 year old daughter – and she was after the heels. Everything looks so great on her lanky limbs and elongated torso. I should keep the yoga pants and give her the rest.

Life with cancer isn’t all bad. I rather enjoy the impending sense of doom the diagnosis brings. Like our new dog Zeke who barks at trashcans and stuffed animals, the call to live boldly summons my inner bark.

Ruff, I’ll do whatever I want.

Yip yip, you can’t catch me.

Yip, I eat shit and I’m cute.

Woof, the world is my playground.

Grrr, leave me alone, I’m taking a nap on the chaise.

My initial diagnosis came with a flurry of attention. A few years later, support loomed large when I was diagnosed with a recurrence and the onset of advanced disease. But, it’s impossible to maintain vigilance over so many months, let alone years. What was once life altering just became life itself.

The infusions are routine. The doctor and nurses are my new old friends. We share milestones and more mundane details between vital signs and the search for a vein.

Everyday ordinary, ruff ruff rough.


§ 13 Responses to ruff ruff rough

  • Elizabeth Skidmore says:

    Marilyn, you are such a good writer. Ruff Ruff back to you. xxoo Elizabeth

  • yuri-nahl says:

    Hey Marilyn, rock on.

  • richmondbay says:

    Love you-
    Can’t say more

  • Linda M. says:

    In your shoes. Don’t write the dog off. Zeke would be fab in heels and a stole. ( I spent my summer in PTown.) xxLM

  • agentrylo07 says:

    You amaze and enlighten me with every post. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your beautiful family. We all have that appointment to keep – some of us are just more aware then others. Love to you. Melanie

  • Bruce says:

    Momo, I love you. I miss you. -B

  • Penny says:

    Marilyn, You’ve inspired Zoe, and you’ve always inspired me. Woof woof … just know my pooch not only loved eating kaka, he used to love rolling in it too!

    I love your words. I think of you often and will pray every day. xoxo

  • Marilyn, Ah, life happening with all its joy, hardship and every-day-ness. So glad you’re noticing it all. Cute puppy!!! Sending well wishes and a hug! -Tracy

  • Marilyn Kass says:

    Being present is definitely a gift, hugs back.

  • Emily Hussa Froeschl says:

    Hi Marilyn! I know it’s been years and years, but I think of you and had the urge to check up and see what you were up to. I’ve read back a bit in your blog, and am so thrilled and happy that you had such a lovely wedding, and are enjoying newlywed-ish-ness. The pictures are beautiful from that day. However, I can not BELIEVE that my little Frannie is ELEVEN!! How the heck did that happen??
    Anyway, I think you came into my mind most recently as we turned our useless dining room (we’re not “fancy diners”) into an Art Room for us and our two boys. Which I figured you would appreciate anyway, but we’ve also made use in there of some of the furniture we got from Smash! Oodles of use we’ve gotten out of all that stuff. Anyway, I’m rambling on, but I wanted to look you up and say hello, and send my love to you and that wonderful girl of yours. Continued happiness, love, healing, and peace to you all.

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